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- You Didn’t Hear Them Wrong... You Filled in the Gaps
You Didn’t Hear Them Wrong... You Filled in the Gaps
Your brain is faster than you think, and not always accurate.
Pam Dwyer
May 06, 2026
You don’t react to what people say.
You react to what you think they meant.
And that happens fast.
So fast…you don’t even realize your brain filled in the gap.
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Yesterday’s story might’ve made you laugh a little.
A woman calling tech support…using her mouse with her foot…calling it a “foot pedal.”
And for a minute there…we weren’t even talking about the same thing.
She had a picture in her mind. I had a completely different one.
And neither of us realized it.
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That’s not just a funny story. That’s what happens in real life…every single day.
In conversations.
In relationships.
In moments that feel charged for reasons you can’t quite explain.
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Your brain is always trying to help you.
It’s pulling from:
past experiences
emotions
patterns you’ve lived through
And it’s making a quick decision:
“This is what that means.”
But here’s the problem…It’s not always right.
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And if I’m being honest…that’s not the only place we do it. Because while we’re misinterpreting other people…we’re also misinterpreting ourselves.
Ignoring signals.
Overriding what we feel.
Pushing past what we already know.
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That moment right there?
That’s the pause. Not after the reaction…before it.
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So here’s something simple to try today:
The next time something hits you…
Pause.
And ask yourself:
“What else could this mean?”
And then…
“What am I telling myself right now?”
You might be surprised at what you hear.
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This week on the podcast, I’m doing something a little different.
For the month of May, I’m releasing two episodes each week as part of The Becoming Series.
Not to give you more to consume…but to give you a deeper experience.
Because some conversations help you understand what’s happening…
And others help you recognize it in your own life.
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This week’s conversation with Christine Miles
goes deeper into what we talked about today…
How quickly we assign meaning…and why communication breaks down in that gap.
Why You Still Feel Misunderstood (Even When You’re Listening)
And then there’s a second conversation with Michele Phillips this week that hit in a completely different way.
It’s not about what someone else said…it’s about what you’ve been feeling.
Michele Phillips – Why You Still Feel Off (Even When Everything Looks Fine)
Because sometimes life looks fine on the outside…but something inside you feels just slightly off.
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So this week, don’t just listen once.
Come back for both.
Clarity…
and connection.
Inside the Pause Reflection
Where in your life are you reacting to meaning…instead of what was actually said?